expectations.... yeah, I tend to have those.
I was talking with a friend today (shout out kaeli!) and I was just telling her how I always said that I would never be that mom to get upset/impatient over a mess. I am sorry to say that it has happened... and even a little more than I would like. So I am trying to figure out just why am I so impatient with my almost 2 year old?! I did some thinking and my conclusion is that it isn't that I am impatient with the actual mess but more with the ACT. I EXPECT more from baya. She is a very smart child and I know her capabilities and her knowledge... so, when she pulls something out of the trash and ends up making quite the mess, yes, I unfortunately get "impatient" with her because I have told her 200 times to not touch the yucky garbage and I know she knows what I am saying! Goodness, she has repeated it back me too. "garbage! yucky!" At this point I just expect her to know better and also listen better. No, I should not get upset with her in anyway.. because when it comes down to it in the big scheme of things it is so petty. It is something I definitely need to work on. I am NOT perfect by any means and neither are my kids. However, I did read a very good article about having expectations for kids, because I was worried that maybe my expectations are too high (I have always had this problem). The article made me feel slightly better though....to sum it up quick.. realistic high expectations lead to high performance (Harvard study and all lol). I didn't research this topic heavily and I am a firm believer that all children are different, but it is just some food for thought and personally what I like to think :).
"Parents who set expectations usually see their children rise to their level of expectation. So setting the standards at high but achievable levels will cause children to step up even further."
my poor kids.
Woot Woot! My name has made it in your blog making it almost impossible for you to ever forget me! This makes me happy! :) I love your thoughts and the way you think!
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you because we are going through the same thing right now with Bella. I,too, have high expectations for Bella and I know what she is capable of, I'm her mom. Just like you are to Baya. What's helped me is learning when to put my foot down and when to understand that she's a tired two year old or other issue, and realizing its not worth the fight. Thats not to say I don't get frustrated, because I do, and like Baya, I think Bella rocks so I feel bad for even getting upset over some things, but I do. I'm human. I think you're doing an awesome job. Another thing that has helped me, is reading my scriptures in the morning. I've noticed I have more patience on those days. Hang in there, you are always your worst critic and remember, no matter what you do, you are still a hero in Baya's eyes!
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