The Sunday before....

Bowie,

It's getting closer. I am getting more nervous. There are still a good bit of unknowns for me. Your daddy gave you a blessing of healing and comfort with many other priesthood holders that love you today. When I am holding you and all is quiet and peaceful, I find my mind wandering and I end up in tears. I am just trying to soak you in. Kiss on your sweet head every second I get to because it will be covered by a helmet for 23 hours a day from the next year or so. I know you will be fine, but I keep having this thought come to mind that you are not mine, you are His. You are in His hands. For most of motherhood, I have had the perspective that brett and I choose to have a child to join our family, but from the moment I had you that has changed. You chose us. I am certain. I am so grateful for you and even though you are the fifth born to us, I still have so much to learn. I know that these next few weeks will be difficult for us but it is such a comfort to us to know that our Savior knows our pain and afflictions. He understands. He sees you, little man. I will do everything in my power for your comfort and for you to know you are loved. You have so much support. Not just from loved ones here but from many angels and your Heavenly Father most of all. Heaven is cheering you on, sweetheart. 

We love you with everything we have.  


side note: look at this sweet picture of him getting a cat scan done!!! such a sweetie!